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The Mask we are Forced to wear and How we can take back control of our emotions and responses

Good morning all.

As celebrations of Halloween draw to a close and costumes and masks are put away for another year, I am reminded that for some of us, for people on a fertility journey, a mask is not just something we wear at Halloween but for many all year round.

We often can feel that we have to shove down how we are truly feeling for fear of being judged of for worrying about upsetting or making others uncomfortable.

That in many situations how we are feeling is not 'appropriate' or 'professional'. We are told to 'snap out of it', to 'just put or big girl/boy pants on and get on with it' or 'that 'it could be worse'. This for sure is not how anyone should have to live their life. This for sure is not how anyone should be made to feel. This for sure is not how we should support or talk to each other.

Sadness, grief, overwhelm, loss, anxiety, fear, anger, frustration, loneliness or any emotion we are experiencing is not something that we can just switch off. It is not something that just disappears or that we can forget about. It is however something that we, with the right support and awareness can take back control of. It may seem like an impossible, gigantic mountain size hurdle to overcome, but it does not have to be.

When we have the right support. When we have space to talk about how we are feeling to tell our story it is just the beginning. When we have a safe, nurturing, curious, openminded, empathic, non judgmental and supportive space to explore those feelings that is when change and healing begins. When we learn to consciously process our emotions, to tap into our subconscious, to learn and be guided by our own self awareness, self belief or own gut instincts that true empowerment and real change happens.

We can and will still feel sadness, anger, grief, overwhelm and a multitude of emotions. The difference is the awareness. The knowing, belief, self compassion and our ability to know what each emotion or feeling is trying to tell us. The knowing around what we feel is the next best step for us to take in response to it. How we move forward, what self care strategy we put, maintain, adapt as appropriate, but always keep in place for ourselves is imperative. The boundaries we set. How we divide our energy. Who we choose to surround ourselves with and what we choose to see, hear and take on board is key.

If you would like to know more about how you can explore all of the above. How you can begin to heal and feel like you again and to feel confident in knowing yourself and the decisions you make please feel free to get in touch. (Instagram @fertilitywellbeingireland).

I offer a free 20 minute chat (either by phone or zoom depending on your location) to meet you where you are at and explore what feels right for you going forward. I have few slots available before Christmas.

Much love.

Dara. xxx

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